The Best BDSM Tests To Take in 2019 To Discover Your Kinks

man in fetish outfit taking bdsm test

The right BDSM test will let you understand what and why you are attracted to certain naughty things. These tests are great to take with the partner or by yourself. 

Knowing thyself is key to satisfying sex life and finding the right partner to share these kinks. The list below includes all the best kink quizzes ever published online:

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What You're About To Learn

The best will mean different things to different people which is why I included several tests for you to check and also discussed the list of kinks separately.

Explore different plays, keep an open mind and you'll have the most satisfying and orgasmic love life. 

If you think you're the fucked up one for having such dirty fantasies, you're not.

Just join the communities and you'll see how to have tons of BDSM fun in a safe, respectful and consensual way. Good luck:​​


The BEST BDSM Tests & Sex Quizzes To Take

1. SexualAlpha Dominant Archetype BDSM Test

This test helps you to learn your dominant sexual archetype.

You'll learn how you naturally get turned off, aroused and what are the kinks you are most likely to enjoy.

It’s very important to know also how your partner is getting aroused and what kind of kinks he is most likely to enjoy.

bdsm test to discover your archetype

If you and your partner take this test together, it’s a great chance to start a conversation about this and learn tons about each other.

This is the results page of Kinky Adventurer sexual archetype for example:

kinky adventurer bdsm test results

For example, I am Kinky Adventurer and my girlfriend turned out to be Tantra Lover. It means I like more of the sexy roleplay and am aroused by new, exciting scenes.

For her, as Tantra Lover, the connection is very important. She requires a full-presence, sensual foreplay, and more careful handling.

I didn’t know these things before… so when I implemented them in our foreplay… she surprisingly got kinkier during the sex.

Because I was speaking her language, she was more interested in learning mine too.


2. BDSMtest.org

No list would be complete without mentioning the BDSM granddaddy to the list. This is the most advanced test you'll be able to take.

You'll be asked a list of questions about different kinks that you might like or not.

bdsm test questions

The end result looks like this:

bdsm test results

As you see you'll quickly be introduced to different terms from the BDSM community and presented with ideas to try.

For example, Brat Tamer is someone who likes the playfulness and dirty talk of handling the brat, who needs to be taught a lesson.

Rigger is someone who likes to tie his partner 🙂

And Daddy Dom/Little Girl is a type of roleplay where one person is a caring Daddy, and another person takes the role of a little girl (boy), who's silly, fooling around…

…and sometimes needs to be punished 🙂

It's tons of fun.


#3 — Experiment with your partner!

Let's Experiment is a cool kink test to take with your partner.

Through playful use of questions, you'll safely be able to start discussing some more interesting ideas and learn what kind of fetishes each of you might have.

The key here is don't be ashamed or shy about any fantasies, it's all good!

test to discover list of fetishes

Obviously, you need to establish trust and have exciting vanilla sex before you start with extras.

If you're a man than I can say to you, that once I learned some cool tricks to make her orgasm, she became much more open to more ideas.

If she is the one craving the sex because how incredible you make it, she'll be much more likely to suggestion!

Could you imagine being able to introduce threesome, if your sex is boring and she's not confident in you.. and might get jealous?

No way!

However, if you give her so much pleasure and talk about everything, she'll be so much likely and trusting to try new things.

All because she knows that you'll be careful with her and would never make her do anything she might not like.

Now that's the key.

Sorry for the ramble…

Now if you prefer instead of fancy quizzes of fetish tests to do your own questionnaire, read on.

I'll have a full list of kinks that you can go through and decide what you might wanna try…!

Great to do this by yourself, even greater with your partner! 😉


BDSM Checklist: List of Kinks You Might Want To Try

How to introduce kinky sex to your relationships, you might wonder?

Well, you start talking about it!

Ideally, you would start talking about right after an incredible lovemaking session…

This will put the logic a little away and you'll both will feel more adventurous to explore deeper realms of pleasure and pain (maybe).

But first of all let me debunk two mayor myths that BDSM beginners think:


Myth #1: There is something wrong with you if you are attracted to BDSM kinky sex

There is just narrow-minded thinking, that probably comes from past limiting programming, where sex is something you don't talk about.

It's something you are ashamed of, do behind closed doors.

Well, you know better than that. There's nothing wrong in exploring the kinky world and there's nothing wrong to be aroused by weird things.

That's what makes it interesting!

You'll have different kink attraction than your partner!

And how fun it is to explore new areas? Who knows you might like them!

So being open-minded and willing to experiment is the key here.


Myth #2: ​BDSM is painful and dangerous

It can be. But it doesn't have to be.

The key here: it's CONSENSUAL!

You have safe words, you have great communication with each other and you take it slow!

If you want to experiment with impact play, you try with spanking.

You don't start pounding your partner with a belt.

The same as DDLG kink — many people mistakenly think that people who like it, have trauma or cravings of incest.

No. No. And No.

It's a consensual roleplay between adults.

That's what makes it fun.

Rape play — the same. It's consensual, it's between trusted close partners, who know they would never abuse others.

BDSM has really 50 shades of variations. You can start as vanilla as you want and go as kinky as you want.

For your inspiration:

Back to the list of kinks.. or as some call it — Kink CHECKLIST

Just go through the list and mark which ones you would be:

  • excited to try
  • willing to try
  • no way

bondage play woman tied

#1 Playful Restraint & Bondage Play

This section includes the first letter B from BDSM — BONDAGE.

It's all about tying. The terms are Rope Bunny and Rigger 🙂

You basically restrict a partner's movement, making him/her helpless to resist you. It's very dominating.

Let's start from lighter to more hardcore bondage kinks:

  • ​erotic wrestling​
  • Holding hands/legs down
  • Silk ties, leather cuffs, rope restraint
  • Bed bondage
  • Full-body bondage
  • Spreader bars
  • Shibari bondage (it's basically erotic Japanese bondage..as a sexual art)
  • Genital chastity, genital restraint (might include chastity belt, cock cage… and just tying it up…)

man dominating woman

#2 - Dominance & Submission Play: Daddy Dom & Brat

Power roles are the most popular part of BDSM which everyone practices at some level.

The other term to this is also top and bottom.

It's D&S part of BDSM letters 🙂

Naturally, men are more dominant, women more submissive. And sex gets exciting when there is POLARITY.

Remove polarity and it loses all its appeal.

This is why you should intentionally practice it for a better love life.

You can also change roles.

For example, I am mostly dominant and my girl is mostly submissive, but she likes to switch from time to time.

And it's even more fun.

The lightest version of this is DDLG (Daddy Dom, Little Girl) and the most extreme version of this is Master/Slave relationship.

You can also bring this play to the primal level, where you unleash the animalistic desires.

It's in all of us. We may be civilized, but the bedroom is where we can unleash our animal and throw the logic out of the door.

So to the list...

Are you willing to try:

  • Being Dominant / Submissive
  • Ownership
  • Dirty talk (…you're my little slut and you love your pussy being pounded like that… I'm gonna make you cum a huge cumshot. Say it: I want you to come for me, Master).
  • Orgasm control (could involve bondage and restraint)
  • cuckquean & cuckold or sex in public
  • Owning genitals (only I can touch them…! They're mine!)

But here are 3 levels of power play you can play out:

  • Hardcore: Master/Slave relationships — you play the complete ownership over his/her body. With collars, contract, human furniture, chastity plays, posture, clothing rules.. etc. Can be lots of fun.
  • Kinky: You play out some roleplays like DDLG, Policeman/Criminal, Kidnapper/Victim
  • Vanilla: It's where you just play with the romantic part of D&S.

man spanking woman

#3 — Impact Play: Spanking, Flogging, Lashing

This is where we finish the BDSM title. This is the part of S&M — Sadism, and Masochism.

Don't get scared by the words though. It all starts with simple spanking 🙂

And everybody enjoys a nice spanking in the right context.

The importance of this obviously is that it must be consensual. You must have clear communication of how far you would like to go.

Again it doesn't need to be painful. Though pain and pleasure go hand in hand.

So here's the list, would you be willing to try:

  • Spanking
  • Tickling (feathers)
  • Caning
  • Whipping
  • Lashing
  • Impact play with bondage restraint
  • Paddling

woman playing with sensory play

#4 — The Kinky Sensory Play

This is where you play with all your five senses — sight, taste, sound, touch, and smell.

It's an easy way to introduce extra variety in your bedroom and an excellent way for foreplay.

Here's what you might try:

  • fur mitts
  • sensual feasting (strawberries, hot chocolate)
  • blindfolding
  • electro-stimulation
  • erotic massage
  • temperature play (wax, ice)
  • Love tapping/ light spanking (the mix of impact and sensory play)
  • tantric breathing

Play with Sex Toys

There is so much variety that can come from getting new outfits, different stimulators for men or women.

For example for men, you could add a blowjob machine as part of the play.

Toys are the easiest way to spice it up, which is the reason I created the whole website - SexualAlpha to focus on finding the best adult sex toys in one place.


BDSM Communities & Websites You Should Join

Probably the best sex-related communities are on Reddit. It's where you'll get the best feedback and serious people wanting to help you.

Check out my separate guide on best NSFW discussion Subreddits.

Enter your text here...


#1 — BDSM Advice (42.9K subscribers)

This is the most serious discussion board for BDSM related questions. If you have questions or you would like to join the discussion this is the #1 place!

bdsm advice subreddit

#2 — BDSM Community (121K subscribers)

This community is a close second, it has nice WIKI page for beginners and is quite kinky 🙂 Similar to BDSM advice, just bigger, but with bigger community comes more noise.


#3 — BDSM Subreddit(165K subscribers)

This is the least serious of all three, but you'll still feel like you belong… and there are lots of crazy pictures of BDSM people doing kinky stuff.

It helps with ideas and makes you feel like you've done nothing yet, compared to what's happening there! 🙂

I find it reassuring and just being able to get ideas what to do 🙂

bdsm main reddit page

#4 — FetLife Social Network

Of course, no BDSM list would be perfect without mentioning the biggest kinky people social network.

This is where you meet new people, join the munches and generally be more involved with this world.

It's a great place to stay though of course, your experience will be varied.

Be careful and common sense, and you'll do alright.

fetlife homepage

#5 — Societ​​​​​y of Janus

If you're US-based, you might wanna check out Janus community. It has quite a bit of events (it's based in San Francisco) and it offers education, mentoring and programs to educate people about BDSM in a safe atmosphere.

society of janus bdsm community

​​​​​Stories From Real BDSM Lifestyle: 5 BDSM Practitioners Share Their Sexual Kink Experiences

To add some color and perspective here are some more real stories from people…good and bad… but from real life…


#1 — My Master made me take an edible without my consent…not sure what to do or what to feel

This one is about dom taking it way too far and not respecting the safe word…

“We have a good dom/sub relationship (we’re also monogamous and dating), we’ve been seeing each other for 8 months and I’ve come to really trust him.

He taught me everything and enforced the stoplight system for safe-wording, he’s been a good dom, never pushed me to do things I didn’t want to.

But last night, I was tied down to the bed and he had me open my mouth, we play around with gags so I thought he was just going to gag me.

He put a piece of chocolate in my mouth and told me it was chocolate, but after I chewed most of it he told me it was an edible and I tried to spit it out, use my safe word, but he made me swallow it.

I’m not opposed to weed at all, we smoke together, but edibles aren’t an easy-to-control high, plus he gave me a higher dosage than I would’ve chosen. I didn’t want to take an edible, we never discussed it.

Later on, he ignored my safe word for being untied, I didn’t want to sleep in his tiny single bed tied up, I normally have always slept on the floor.

It’s not so much that me made me sleep with him, it’s just I was saying red and he was refusing to untie me.

I feel weird today. I feel gross, I’ve never felt gross with him before. I’m not sure what to do.

Later I called him and I told him that I wished he had talked to me before he gave me an edible.

He said he stands by what he did and has no regrets. He said that he had to keep it secret or it would ruin the scene.”

Source: squeakers4269


#2 — Rant: being kinky doesn’t disqualify me from being a good parent

“I’m peeved, y’all.

The nature of my relationship with my husband has nothing, nothing to do with whether I’m capable of being a good parent. Your ignorance of BDSM doesn’t excuse your absolute asshattery.

I’m not scarring my children, I’m not damaging my children, and my children are not privy to anything that they shouldn’t be privy to.

My husband is no more likely to be abusive to me, to my children, or to anyone, than anyone else’s husband is, because he’s not abusive, he’s a Dominant.

There are so many children who grow up in truly awful environments. Don’t you dare call CPS on me and start a useless investigation to try to make happy, healthy, well-adjusted children out of a loving home?

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.”

Source: alliecomma


#3 — Why I don’t mind calling you a slut

Unapologetic story from a man showing the juicy attraction to BDSM 🙂

“I noticed a pattern with my scenes this year. I kept drifting more and more towards degradation, being an asshole and a monster, using women for my sadistic entertainment.

Initially, I used to be way more into the Master-Slave dynamic. I would set out rules and challenges for my sub, wait for them to break the rules, then punish them.

I loved punishing them, but I always felt the need to justify it. It was a compromise between my Yin and Yang — I’d let my darkness out to play, but only if there was a pretense that my light was in control in the background.

SHE broke the rules, so I HAD to punish her.

A few years ago, as a reward for being a good girl, my slave requested a consensual non-consent scene.

She wanted to fight me, and she wanted me to fight for the right to use her. No justification, just the darkness, and fun.

The scene itself was intoxicating, lasting hours. I remember flashes of it from time to time — her eyes in the moment of surrender, breaking the bed frame, laughing at my cock as it managed to keep getting hard like a drunken boxer.

I chase that feeling every time I post a CNC ad.

I kept meeting up with women that wanted to be called sluts. In Los Angeles, I put her in a harness and fucked in the back of a van. In Orlando, I didn’t let her say a word until I came in her mouth, then I forced my way into her ass.

In New Orleans, I strapped a Hitachi to her clit and wrote over her tied-up body. In Las Vegas, I made her cum in the hotel pool and try on lingerie for me inside a sex shop.

In New York, I dragged her around my hotel room in a headlock and slapped her face.

They’re all beautiful, amazing women, full of agency and career-driven. They’re talented, friendly, kind and wonderful. I respect these women with every fiber of my being.

And I won’t hesitate to use them as three warm holes for fucking, choking, slapping or abusing.

I’ll cum on them. I’ll spit on them. I’ll write about them.

I’ll tie them up and take pictures of their little slutty bodies.

I will strip away everything human about them and make them into mindless fucktoys.

I will turn them into something best referred to as an “it.”

An object.

Because during this scene, I don’t just strip away their humanity. I also shed away their stresses, their responsibilities, their schedules, their expectations. Fucktoys have none of that.

Do you have a meeting on Monday where the boss is going to try and undermine you? That sucks. But right now you’re fuckmeat, and your only problem is you’re going to be choked harder.

Worked up about how the world expects you to be a perfect woman and mom and wife and warrior and healer? I don’t fucking care. I expect you to be a good little cumslut.

In some aspects, yes, we’re poking at the taboo of how men and women should treat each other.

My darkness, left unchecked, is a monster. If I acted on my urge, I would be in jail.

But playing with it this way, I’m letting my light side make a set of rules to contain it.

It’s a lot like a zoo building a better ape habitat.

Yes, the apes are still in a zoo, but with more space and things to do, they’re happier.

So I’ll call you a slut, a whore, a fucktoy, a cunt. I’ll use you. I’ll expose you, degrade you and fuck you. And I’ll respect the fuck out of you, you slut.”

Source: caseyhard9


#4 — She used her safe word. I didn’t like it.

“In my opinion, people often over-emphasise the importance of a safe word.

The problem is, a safe word can create a false sense of security.

They’re like seat belts, they’re great to have but that doesn’t mean we can drive carelessly.

It’s better to minimize the need for a safe word by properly discussing limits ahead of time.

In my experience, if you’re relying on a safe word then you’re probably doing something wrong.

The only time a safe word is really necessary is during consensual non-consent scenes where the submissive wants to be able to say things like No, Stop, Please Stop, You’re hurting me.

In other words, pretend rape. In any other situation, stop means stop so there should be no need for a safe word.

For intense scenes like rape-play, a safe word is still not enough. Things can easily get so intense that the “victim” can’t think straight.

Of course a safe word is useless when I have my dick in her mouth, or my hands around her neck, or her face shoved into a pillow so she can’t scream. (or he if that’s your gender preference).

In normal situations a safe word is unnecessary and in extreme situations a safe word is unreliable so why bother?

I’ve been doing this BDSM thing a long time now. Not just BDSM, I’ve done all sorts of risky, extreme, unusual things.

I try to be careful but life is short and sometimes some risk is totally worth it. I’m proud to say that not once has anyone ever felt the need to use a safe word with me. Not until yesterday.

The thing is, we weren’t even doing anything that extreme. Neither of us was naked so by many standards, it wasn’t even sex.

We’ve done far more before and this particular encounter was not much more than flirting.

Granted, I was in a very dominant mood and I am far stronger than her so my “flirting” meant my hands were all over her and there’s no way she could get away. I have no doubt that she was enjoying it and wanted more.

I know the difference between her saying “Stop it” when she means “Harder please” and saying “Stop it” when she means stop.

I know her and I know her limits. I would not be so forceful with a stranger.

Like I said, none of this is new to me.

We were playing, like we have many times before when she said “red.”

It wasn’t panicked, it wasn’t strained, it was a quiet “red.” I’m proud to say that I stopped instantly. It was almost reflexive.

I stopped so fast it was shocking for me. It was almost painful, like someone throwing a bucket of cold water on me.

After several moments of catching my breath and blinking in confusion, I started to figure out what had happened.

She was in the mood, I was in the mood, but the timing wasn’t right. The passion between us can be too much sometimes.

Being around her drives me crazy with powerful dominant energy and, according to her, when she’s around me she loses all control.

Indeed, I’ve never seen a woman get so wet so quickly.

She was correct to say “red” because I was going into that unstoppable dominant mode and she was sinking into her insatiable submissive mode.

I wasn’t hurting her, I wasn’t doing anything she didn’t want me to do, the timing simply wasn’t correct.

As much as we like to play, there’s an appropriate time and place for everything but that was not it.

She could have used her “Stop it for real” voice but saying “red” was faster and more effective.

It made me stop immediately and completely. It yanked me right out of the mood and back to reality.

As soon as I figured out what had happened, I knew that she was correct to use her safe word. I know how to push her buttons.

What she was trying to say was “Not now” but she was already too far gone to get the words out. She barely managed to say her safe word.

My point is, even if you dislike safe words as much as I do, even if you think you’re some kind of super-expert like I think I am, it’s still good to have a safety net.

All you young dominant wanna-be’s, learn to take it seriously.

Being dominant doesn’t mean you’re perfect. And all you submissive types, learn that using your safe word isn’t a failure, it’s helpful. I appreciate a submissive who is willing to help.

I love a little risk as much as the next guy but wow, getting a cold bucket of water thrown in my face sure is a good way to remind me that I’m not perfect.

It was like almost getting in a car accident but my passenger yelled “Watch out!” just in time.”

Source: Eruditish


#5 — My Dom safe-worded yesterday…

“…and I’ve never felt more loved.

We were a few hours (time flies when you’re having fun…) into one of our most intense sessions so far. I was bound and bruised from the paddling that he had started with.

He had just finished bloodying my ass with a cane before he dragged me out into the yard.

He used me as his urinal and then grabbed the hose to clean me off. The shock of the cold water was so intense, but I felt so broken I couldn’t even scream or flinch.

It’s all a bit fuzzy now, but I just remember hearing him repeating “red” and him cutting the ropes off of me before carrying me inside to a hot shower.

When I regained a few my senses, he told me that at that moment he just felt so cruel and that he had lost himself and the sight of me emotionally broken jarred him out of it so fast, and it scared him.

We cuddled in bed for hours, with both of us reassuring the other how much we loved each other and how much we enjoy our sessions together.

I’ve never been this close with someone before, and I don’t think it would be possible without the BDSM aspect of our lives.

It was just an incredible experience.”

Source: bumblethatboop

How's that for real stories? 🙂


Bringing It All Together

So that's it folks, hope you'll gain some insight and are excited to add some kinky BDSM to your love life!

What's next?

Check out this New? Start Here page to discover more naughty toy reviews and sex education guides to learn from.

See you around!

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