Edging is a great way to reach crazy intense orgasms (for both men and women). But for men edging originally was invented to prevent premature ejaculation.
Either way, after you're done you'll have more control over your orgasms. Use it as you like. At the end of the article I share 10 honest reader stories of their edging experiences — good and bad.
Here's what we'll cover:
- What is Edging?
- Is Edging Bad For Your Health?
- What are The Benefits of Edging?
- Preparation: How To Practice Edging By Yourself
- How To Edge Yourself During Sex & Delay Ejaculation? : 5 Best Edging Techniques
- Orgasm Control: How To Edge Your Woman For Intense Orgasms?
- Reader’s Experiences: Edging Stories From Men & Women
Let's jump in:
What is Edging?
Edging is a sexual practice that was originally invented for men to prevent premature ejaculation (btw you can use a penis sleeve to numb the sensations too, and get bigger penis overnight…think super thick condom).
It's been often used to reach more intense orgasms for both men and women.
For example, a power play. In BDSM it's called orgasm control.
One partner is tied to the bed, helpless. The other partner does as he pleases and tease her to get close to orgasm, but then denying.
It drives rope bunny crazy… but is also plenty of fun.
It's like charging a battery…
You delay the pleasure, tease yourself or your partner…
…and the final time you cross the finish line with such a power that your orgasm is much longer and intense than you even thought possible.
In this article, I'll focus mostly on men's perspective and how they can use edging to last longer.
You'll simply learn to control yourself better and with this power you can do whatever you like.
Is Edging Bad For Your Health?
It really depends…
Because you can overdo it. If you go too close to the edge, for too long, and then use squeeze technique to prevent ejaculation (for men)… you can get yourself blue balls.
I got into troubles like hurting belly when I was edging myself for an hour, going intensely close and then not ejaculation at all.
That was when I was learning to achieve male non-ejaculatory orgasms.
There is also a way to pull your balls down, squeeze the “million dollar spot” between your butthole and balls to stop ejaculation.
But all of these are forceful ways.
If you don't venture close to the edge, you'll have no side effects.
From scientific studies, there been some rumours of increased prostate cancer if you ejaculate very rarely (like less than every 30 days), but again it's not very reliable.
Then taoists have practiced semen retention and not ejaculating at all for extended periods of time. And they have done it for more than 5,000 years, they taught Chinese emperors this stuff and they were confident saving semen actually increased their lives…
And many of them lived over 100 years, so who's right?
Anyway, if you don't go crazy, you'll have no side-effects.
But it's the same as having too long sex, or too rough sex.
Your penis gets tired, pussy gets irritated — is it good for your health?
I guess not. But it all heals and the next day you're all fine and dandy.
My advice is:
Learn how to edge yourself and use it to add more fun during sex and last longer!
What are The Benefits of Edging?
To me as a man, it really helped increase my sexual confidence.
After I learned how to control myself better, never again I am worried that I will ejaculate too early.
I am in perfect control of my arousal, I know my limits and I can work within those limits.
So it's being in control vs letting orgasm happen to you.
Which one is better? I'll let you decide.
If you care about pleasure, then you'll be happy to learn that after you edge yourself for 4–5 times getting close to the “point of no return”, stepping back… and getting close again…
The final time when you cum, you'll cum powerfully like a pornstar would in the movies! (you can also use some other ninja tricks to increase cum volume)
If your lady likes you to cum on her, then you can really impress her with your manly huge load of cum.
Preparation: How To Practice Edging By Yourself
So how do you do this stuff?
For fastest progress and best results I really recommend you to create your own self-pleasuring practice sessions.
During sex it's way too hot, and it's 10X harder to control yourself.
The other tip is: don't use porn.
Porn also has similar influence over your brain — it simply overstimulates your brain and since it's external, you'll find it hard to be in control of it.
I cannot count the times when I got overconfident, checked some porn and found myself full in sticky stuff and failed edging practice.
Note: If you find it hard to get hard by yourself, just wait for few days. Ideally you would practice edging when you're horny.
So you get comfortable, make sure there are no distractions.
You get yourself hard, close your eyes and really feel the sensations.
Think of your hardness in terms of 1 to 100.
1 is you're completely limp, like you would be ashamed if someone saw how tiny your penis is.
100 is you've ejaculated.
Edging is when you get yourself to 90… and then relax yourself back to 60–70.
You repeat this enough times till you can go to 95… 97… and relax yourself back to 70–80.
Your goal is to learn your own arousal levels and find ways to get yourself under control when you get too close to the edge (or the so called of point of no return).
How do you calm yourself down?
There are several ways, but the most popular and the most powerful tools you have are: kegels and your breath.
You'll need to strengthen your kegel muscles if you want more control over your penis. It's like gym for your penis.
Kegel muscles are the ones you use to stop peeing.
The easiest way to strengthen and isolate them is actually when you're taking a leak. Ancient taoists practice it there and used toilet as a trigger for them to practice kegels.
You basically start peeing, then squeeze your kegels for 5 secs, then release.
Repeat it for 4–5x till your bladder is empty. Then as you wash your hands hold your PC muscle for 10 extra seconds.
Do this for a month… and you'll see great results.
The more you do it, the more control you'll have over your penis erection.
Back to edging exercise…
You get yourself hard and then you squeeze your kegel muscles for 10–15 seconds and repeat till you're limp.
Additionally you can open your eyes (it helps for some reason) and start the deep breathing.
Your goal is to take your mind… and blood away from your penis and arousal.
By squeezing kegels and your butt you do just that.
By breathing and focusing on your breath (3 counts in, 3 counts out) you move your mind away sexual thoughts.
Do this for a while and you're ready to take your first trial by fire.
Have sex and last as long as you want!!!
Also you can practice using blowjob machines.
They simulate the blowjob, sex process and give a lot more intense sensations than simple masturbation would.
It's a pleasurable way to practice, and it's much closer to actual sensations you might have in sex, so if you want to last longer — it will serve as the next difficult level for your edging mastery:
Here I reviewed the best 9 blowjob machines if you're curious.
Okay, besides toys and exercise, what are the top exercises?
How To Edge Yourself During Sex & Delay Ejaculation?
It's pretty similar as practicing by yourself… except the fact that hardness level is way up!
Sex gets super hot, super fast.
Thankfully there are some great extra additional techniques to help you out.
Top 5 Edging Techniques:
#1 — Squeeze Technique
This is the one from the practice.
You have sex as usual, but once you feel getting too close you either completely take your penis out from her or stay shallowly in her.
It's important to have her cooperation however. If she's actively thrusting and keeps going when you're too hot, she'll push you over the edge.
Anyway… you squeeze your penis, butt, legs, jaw and hold it for as long as it takes you to relax.
You can hold your breath too if it helps. When you hold your breath your body goes in mini emergency mode and brings blood back to main organs (away from penis).
This is effective technique, but its biggest flaw is that you're completely stopping. It can murder her arousal… Especially if she was close.
Bonus tip: You can turn this stopping into your advantage by adding some dirty talk..
Say to her — Oh, I don't want you to cum just yet… or Damn, you're making me too hot, you're such a sexy tease…
#2 — Relax Your Penis
I've read somewhere that relaxed penis cannot ejaculate.
And I tried it… it's true. Semen gets ejaculated with involuntary penis contractions.
So if there are no contractions — voluntary or involuntary…
You won't ejaculate! As simple as that!
Try it — when fucking her simply relax your penis and make sure it stays that way. You'll find that you'll be able to thrust her for far longer than usual.
#3 — Breathing Technique
Breathing technique is my favorite natural edging technique.
It doesn't even require kegels. But when you master it, it's crazy powerful.
Breathing in combination with penis relaxation is explosive combination.
What you want to do is to find a calm, relaxed rhythm of breathing and stick to it.
If you observe yourself then when you'll notice that right before ejaculation your heartbeat increases, your breath becomes shallow… and BOOM!
You're out of the game.
Your mind follows your body.
Walk confidently with your chest out and you'll feel more confident.
Cross your arms together, put your head and back down and you'll feel depressed.
You can trick your mind the same way with ejaculation control.
Attempt to keep thrusting in regular rhythm, not increasing the pace, keeping your penis relaxed and having long, deep breaths in and out the diaphragm (your belly).
You'll be stunned how much longer you can last, and how much self-aware you'll become.
#4 — Change Positions
So this is the variation from squeeze technique.
Instead of pulling it out when you get too close to the edge…
You simply change the position to less stimulating one.
Unfortunately I cannot recommend many positions because every man is different. But the least stimulating sex position for men is missionary with her on top.
There gravity helps you out and her vagina isn't stimulating the head of your penis too hard.
Alternatively you can also simply go down on her, eat her out, finger her… Mix things up..!
She wont even notice that you were close to ejaculating!
#5 — Use Thick Condoms (or Penis Sleeve)
This is the easiest and most obvious one.
If you get excited too easy — buy thick condoms!
If it's still too exciting — put two condoms on!
Whatever it takes!
It's a great bandaid until you build up your self-control, kegels and breathing practice.
I love feeling her intensely and condoms (especially the ones with numbing creams on them) kill some of the pleasure.
But if you have PE issues, maybe that's exactly what you need to manage excitement.
Orgasm Control: How To Edge Your Woman For Intense Orgasms?
Alright so you've mastered your own self-control with edging…
Now you wanna play with her and give her powerful, intense orgasm, right? (or even squirting orgasm?)
It's tons of fun and pleasure.
First thing though, you need her cooperation.
Unless you know your woman crazy well, it will be tough for you to sense the exact moment when she's going to orgasm.
If you remember with our own edging exercise, imagine there is a scale of 1 to 100.
The closer you get to the 100 without actual orgasm, the more intensely charged the sensations will get.
Yeah… you could stop at 90 and still do well with her…
But if you wanna blow her mind with pleasure, ask for her cooperation.
The best way to edge her in my opinion is by either fingering her or eating her pussy out.
You just need to get her to say — oh, I am so close…
Or whatever is the word when she gets too close to the edge…and stop the stimulation.
Repeat it for 4–5x.
And then as you eat her out, you'll send her over the blissful edge that she'll remember for a long time!
It's tons of fun…
Of course you need to know how to give her ordinary orgasms first.. Read this guide if you need some help with that.
Reader’s Experiences:Edging Stories From Men & Women
Alright, that's my best advice to you…
But let's add some juicy perspective! Here are some great real people stories who share their good and bad experiences with edging and orgasm denial.
Here's a video of two guys talking about edging:
#1 —” Too long can be as bad as too short; don’t forget to check in with your partner!”
Great insight for a woman of how lasting too long actually may backfire…
“This may be unpopular I just wanted to add in one element, which is to be aware of whether your partner actually wants sex to last that long or whether it may become uncomfortable or painful, or even just plain boring, for them after a while.
Long-duration sex is not necessarily more pleasurable, for either party, than short-duration.
As a girl, personally my pleasure & satisfaction is maximum in sessions that are really only about 10 min long. I’ve finally realized that the longer it goes on after that, the worse it gets.
I run out of juices, I go dry, my joints eventually start hurting like frickin’ hell, and even if the pain isn’t too bad I start thinking about other stuff I want to do that night…
I just plain get bored. (And if I haven’t come in the first 10 min, realistically I’m not going to, because eventually my clit goes kinds numb).
I mean, I’ll soldier on if it’s what my partner is into, but it definitely gets to the point where it feels like a chore.
I say all this because I actually ended up pretty skittish about long sessions due to a partner who would just plow on and on and on, dutifully, him thinking that was what guys are supposed to do and that girls must prefer that, me getting more and more sore, tired and uncomfortable.
But who wants to be the girl who says “This is no fun anymore, can you please stop”?
Nobody, that’s who!
So though I tried to hint how negative it was all becoming, the last thing I wanted to do was come across sex-negative and/or unappreciative of his efforts, so it was really hard to communicate clearly about it.
Anyway, as long as your partner & you are both happy and satisfied, it’s not necessarily the best course of action to try to last longer just for the sake of lasting longer.”
#2 —” I’m a huge fan of edging my wife (and so is she). I don’t see much on here about edging girls, so here’s how we do it…”
“I’m not sure when we started doing it, but I’m pretty sure it was early on. My girlfriend (now wife) really only liked to cum once in an “encounter”.
She’s capable of having more (our record is 5, and for a girl that likes having 1, that was pretty intense) but usually we just got one a piece. After a while, I added edging her to make her one orgasm even more spectacular (and usually mine gets even better too).
So, I started one night by telling her to let me know when she was about 75% there. I’d read somewhere that that would help her feel more in-tune with where she was on the orgasm scale and you could work up to get even closer. I usually start after some good foreplay by going down on her, and use 2 fingers inside doing the ol’ g-spot come hither thing.
We’ve built up to where she’ll have me stop when she’s about 90% there, like one more lick or stroke and she will cum. I’ll get her close a time or two, and then I’ll slide up, and enter her with the “D”.
Usually, she’s sensitive enough that I can get her close again after a hand-full of strokes.
Sometimes, I’ll let her calm down more than that, kiss her breasts , caress her skin, then I’ll edge myself by fucking her. Then I’ll go back down and tease a time or two.
We’re lucky because she can have an orgasm from penetration and everything else, so I’m not limited to what I choose to do, but I totally love going down on her. Like addicted to it.
I’ve used dildos and tongue, dildos and vibrators, vibrators alone, fingers… Well basically any thing you can think of, I guess I’ve tried it.
No egg plants, haven’t tried egg plants yet, but you get the idea.
One thing I have noticed is that after a wonderful amount of edging her, she gets extremely tight. We can both feel every edge and ridge in each other, and it’s amazing.
As for the orgasm, sometimes I stay going down, especially if she’s into it, and have even had her squirt a bit from it.
Usually, however, we both like to cum while we are fucking.
It’s usually especially intense because one way or another we’ve both been edging for a while.
I hope that gives folks a cool idea to try. Have a great weekend.
- Tease your girl until she almost cums by whatever means necessary, then stop.
- Lather, rinse, repeat until she and you can’t handle it.
- Enjoy the fruits of your labor.”
#3 —”Be careful edging!”
This is a word of warning, when you get too taken away with edging.
I experienced something similar, yet not that intense. I felt pain in belly and it went away after few hours. The reason it was painful was because I really edged too hard, too long and confused the heck out of my penis.
Better not get too close to the edge or it WILL backfire.
“A girl on Saturday night was into edging which was great because I usually am too. Two hours in, which isn’t even the longest I’ve gone but it was a lot of denials,
I felt a weird tightness before climaxing and then, once I did, I had the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my right testicle. I’m a moron so I took 4 Advil and got back into bed.
I woke up the next morning feeling a lot better but it still felt tight and heavy… spent Sunday and Monday icing my balls and scaring myself with googling the possibilities.
Went to the doctor yesterday. Turns out to be swollen ejaculatory ducts which can mimic the feeling of acute testicular torsion.
Apparently common but I’ve never heard of it.
The doc told me that I was lucky as people have come in with way worse from edging.
Anyway.. just wanted to warn everyone to be careful if you’re into edging or orgasm denial.
I’m now staying away from it forever.”
#4 — “Masturbation is 100x better now that I’ve (female) started edging”
“I’m a woman in my mid twenties.
I started masturbating a little later than some; I didn’t have my first self-induced orgasm until I was 19 (the same day I found the porn side of tumblr).
For the first couple years of figuring out masturbating, my orgasms were awesome. Drawn out, legs trembling, flushed all over.
I would sleep like a baby afterwards.
I started to explore porn more and really dialled in what my kinks were.
Everything was new and exciting. In terms of method, I stuck with what worked: fingering my clit steadily until I orgasmed.
When I first started, it would take about an hour to come, but as I got more familiar with myself and what got me off, that was reduced to 40 minutes, then 30, and then suddenly I found myself able to get off in under 10 minutes.
Honestly, I was kind of proud of myself for a while — orgasms were easier to achieve, and that’s a good thing right?? Not…really, it turns out.
Maybe a couple years ago I realized that orgasms just weren’t as satisfying as they used to be. It felt like they were stopping short.
The flush was brief, the tingling didn’t go all the way down to my toes anymore. I was barely panting. It was frustrating and confusing.
I thought maybe it was my fingers. Maybe everyone graduates to toys and I just had missed the memo.
So I got myself my first vibrator. It was…fine. Honestly, nothing much changed. So I got a fancier one that doubled as a dildo.
Meh. I honestly found them more distracting than anything.
Then, around six months ago, I read a post on one of the NSFW subs. It was about a guy working on lasting longer with his partner.
He said that once he started edging, not only was sex longer, but his orgasms were better. I would say that about half clicked with me — I didn’t really see my problem as premature ejaculation, even though it basically was!
To me, the goal of masturbating was to orgasm as efficiently as possible (why did I think that??).
Not long after that, I read a book about the psychology of sex (Come As You Are By Emily Nagoski). I read it more for shits and giggles, because sex is fun and interesting; I didn’t expect to have any life-altering realizations.
Fortunately, the author really hammered home the idea of edging as a tool to understand your own orgasm better. She specifically said that you should edge until you get to the point where you can’t help but orgasm, even without direct stimulation.
My reaction was not far off from, “ok…sounds fake, but ok…”
SPOILER ALERT: it was not fake.
In the last few months, my orgasms have been…fucking unreal. And I’m having cascading orgasms for the first time in my life.
I get excited to masturbate. I wish I had the words to capture how…otherworldly it is to feel yourself starting to come without anything touching you.
And know that you just can’t stop it. It completely changes the game to suddenly think about your orgasm as something you want to delay as long as possible.
It always used to feel like a grind — masturbating was fun but, c’mon, get to the good part already. That impatience just slowly ruined it for me.
Now, coming is against the rules, it’s forbidden, it’s so hot. i’m also feeling more spontaneously turned on now — whereas before I would have tentatively categorized myself as someone with a “reactive” sex drive.
It seems like I am more aware of my clit and my clit is more aware of me.
I hope this helps anyone in a similar masturbatory rut.
Edging: it really works!
TLDR: edging gives your clit spidey senses.”
#5 — “my gf is slowly becoming an expert at edging me and it drives me fucking wild!”
“I've always loved the old stop-and-go when I’m taking care f myself. I made it no secret to my current girlfriend when she was giving me blowjobs or handjobs to replicate this.
I think she’s a quick learner, super quick and has fucking mastered the damn art. She’s even lately started taking pride in her work, bless her!
I used to think going at it for 5 mins, giving a break, repeating a couple times more was mind-blowing, but the first time she kept me going past five times and a good half hour.
That mixed with reducing the intensity of stroking as I came closer and closer until she was barely moving, I was almost ready to throw her off and finish the job myself.
I told her this, and the next time we try, these handcuffs magically appear out of nowhere. I’m now completely at her mercy and she fucking knew it.
At one point, I was literally air-humping to get release.
I think I’m really fortunate to have someone like this who likes a challenge, and who enjoys this as much as I do.
You know the man version of kegels, where the dick kinda flops around a little — I actually ended up having to ruin my own orgasm like that once because she got so close and it was so frustrating.
The next step might be some sort of orgasm denial, chastity stuff, but I’m terrified at how good she’ll get. I still want to get off 🙂
Here’s to all the ladies that can read us like a book and fully use that knowledge.”
#6 — “Is Edging A Thing For Women?”
Is it possible this practice can retract from female orgasms?
Several answers from women:
For me personally, if Im close to the edge and it stops, the next orgasm isn’t as strong as normal. It depends on the person.
Have a bit of fun and experiment with your wife to see which she likes more.
For me it absolutely makes the orgasm stronger when I finally go over the line. It is also intensely frustrating and extremely difficult for me to do to myself.
I can sometimes manage to stop once but after that the psychological urge to orgasm becomes overwhelming.
But I’ve had guys pull me back from the edge 3–4 times before letting me orgasm, and the resulting orgasms were fabulous.
But being stopped on the brink, especially more than once, actually isn’t that much fun.
Despite the resulting intense orgasm, there is no way I’d want to do it every time.
I love edging, but not right before orgasm.
Like when I’m super aroused and you start inserting the tip of your penis, but then remove.
Or you start going down on me, but just as you get closer to the clit, you start moving upwards again and start kissing my thighs etc.
When a women is so close she screams she’s coming, you’re way past that point where it’s fine to edge.
If you stop then, she might not get this close without becoming overwhelmingly sensitive.
Personally, I get so frustrated when it happens that it becomes increasingly difficult to get there again.
Of course, this doesn’t happen on purpose, they just change the rhythm when I say ‘don’t stop’ for some reason and I lose it.
I imagine that intentionally engaging in orgasm denial would have a different effect, though.
Haven’t gotten the opportunity to explore that yet.
#7 — “How 10 minutes of porn changed my sex life”
Here's a guy who used edging during the porn…
With positive results.
So whatever works for you, another perspective!
“For background, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about three years now.
Our sex life has always been very good, especially when we first started dating — three to four times a day sometimes.
Now, we have sex several times a week, depending on our schedules.
But, in the past few months, due to us having pretty different schedules and increasingly busy lives, we’ve been having less, and not as good sex.
I noticed that I was more often not in the mood than she was (this has happened to me in previous long term relationships as well), and when we did have sex, it was usually pretty quick and not as mind blowing as it had been a few years back.
I wouldn’t say our sex life was bad, but I knew it could be better.
About a week ago, I decided to try an experiment: Every day, when I’m alone, I spend ~10 minutes watching porn and masturbating, BUT I never finish.
(I actually don’t always watch porn at the same time, but it made the title sound better. Also, I almost always make sure the last thing I look at is my personal folder of pics of my girlfriend).
I only let myself cum when I’m having sex. The results have been incredible — I’ve been crazy horny all week.
We’ve had sex way more than usual this week, and it’s been incredible every time. I’m learning my limits as well, which means I can last longer and focus more on her.
Also, more sex has resulted in more intimacy, cuddling and a better relationship overall.
Again, not that or relationship was bad, but it’s great now 🙂
It’s only been a week; we’ll see how it goes further on.
I have noticed I’ve had a harder time focusing on work and chores this week, which is an unfortunate side effect.”
…and another response from a woman:
“I do it occasionally. But to be honest my willpower is so shit that whenever I start an edging session — it’s almost always an orgasmic session, lol!
Fortunately as a woman I don’t have a refractory period as severe as many guys do, so I can still have sex afterwards.
But it tends to be better if I haven’t cum for a while.
So I tend to find that unlike “direct” visual stimulation like porn, more indirect forms like reading blogs (or, ahem, certain subreddits) works better for me.
It doesn’t get me so worked up that I can’t help but go for it, but on the other hand it keeps me aware of my sexuality (plus it’s hella enjoyable!).
Have lots of fun!”
Bringing It All Together
So that's it folks!
All the best edging practices, tips, techniques and perspectives all in one place!
Hope it helps and you'll have better and better sex with every next time!
Oh…and if you want to have even more orgasmic and sexually satisfied life, check out more of my guides about sex toys & education.