Any kind of anal play may seem weird and gross at first, till you really give it a try. Truthfully there are lot of joys hidden in but sex... For men, prostate orgasms... For ladies - female anal orgasms.
After 20 hours of crowdsourcing hundreds of couple stories, reading books I've condensed the best and most actionable anal advice all in one place:
How Does Female Anal Orgasm Feel Like?
Someone said it nicely:
“Lol your mind is gonna be blown out of the god damn water when you discover anal and vaginal orgasms can happen at the same damn time!”
We're not even talking about prostate milking, but for women there is even such a thing as anal squirting orgasm.
Here's how anal orgasm can feel like:
“My orgasms from anal are so much more intense than vaginal.”
“I was feeling a little spicy today so I whipped out my Ol’ Reliable butt plug and got on with business.
But I’ve noticed recently when I have an orgasm purely from anal (very little clit stimulation) it’s like an out of body experience.
I get breathless, my thoughts stop and it feels like I’ve just exploded with wonder and awe, sometimes it’s so intense I just lay there for like ten minutes trying to regain my senses.
But vaginally it’s very much a different experience for me.
I have a vibrator with an external clitoral stimulator and though I do get off on it (and pretty quickly) I still feel like I have energy left in me, sometimes I’ll even go a second round if I’m left a bit wanting.
Don’t get me wrong, it still feels incredible, but not quite on the same level.”
There are tons of fun and pleasure hidden in back door sex:
Everyone is different, but some of these things will definitely work for you!
What is an anal orgasm?
Anal orgasm is the type of orgasm that's achieved mainly by anal (rectum) stimulation.
For men it's achieved through prostate stimulation, which is called the male G-spot.
For women anal insertion stimulates the erectile tissue and indirectly the G-spot.
Usually anal orgasms are achieved by help of anal sex toys like: anal beads, butt plugs, prostate stimulators (for men), dildos (or real penis).
All in all if you wanna give her or him anal orgasm, there are several stages that you should go through and learn about:
- massaging around with a finger
- rimming (ass eating, licking)
- fingering inside the rectum
- using a small butt plug to bigger one
- using a prostate stimulator, a strap-on to peg him… or use your penis to have anal sex with her.
The main thing to remember is that orgasms from anal sex take time and if it hurts — YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG (too fast, too little lubrication etc.)
Now to get you excited about the pleasures that are hiding in anal orgasms I've compiled several people real orgasming stories with focus on female anal orgasms 🙂
(since for guys it's easier — they have prostate there…and I've written an extensive guide how to milk it.)
How can you ACTUALLY reach an anal orgasm?
I've included a tons of people different experiences and best anal orgasm tips.
Try them all, see what sticks!
Chances are something will work!
The most important part about anal sex is not actually lube (though it is important).
“You can use a full gallon of lube and still not be able to go through with penetration, because you’ve skipped the most notorious culprit in all anal troubles:
The secondary sphincter
Your butthole has two (probably more, but for brevity) muscles or muscle groups — one you can control, the other you can’t.
The primary sphincter is the one you can clench, and the secondary sphincter, which is located right behind the first one, is the involuntarily controlled muscle that prevents you from shitting yourself in your sleep, among other things.
You have no real control over it, it is, like the big majority of your guts and colon, primarily controlled by the autonomic nervous system.
Getting something past the first sphincter is easy as pie.
Anyone can do it, with no warning or preparation.
Getting something past the second sphincter is where the skill, preparation and training for anal comes in.
Because you can’t actually will it to be open and accommodating, you have to… seduce it.
It needs to be wined and dined before you get to the height of the evening.
And beyond anything else you will ever read about anal sex, BY FAR the single most important factor in being able to woo your sphincter is relaxation.
If you’re tense, if you’re clenching, flinching, or any other such reaction, you will simply not be able to insert anything significant without it being painful — no matter how much lube, no matter what position you’re in, no matter every other imaginable thing.
If you can’t relax, it will hurt.
Take this to heart right now.
So start there.
More specifically, start so small that you can receive gentle stimulation and still be perfectly relaxed.
For some this means starting on the outside — no penetration at all — just massaging, licking, putting pressure on, whatever, the outside of the butthole.
For any stimuli that involves insertion or penetration, add enough lube that any friction (if any) you feel does not come from your skin resisting the surface/skin of whatever is going inside you, but from your sphincter being reluctant to open up.
You could probably add a little bit of lube even if all the action is on the outside as well.
Now, the sphincter being difficult to work with (for beginners, anyway) is very normal.
It’s supposed to be that way — mother nature made it so.
Start small & slow, and DO NOT under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE go bigger and/or faster until you can stimulate yourself at the level you currently are EASILY (meaning no pain, no friction, no sphincter-resistance) and while being TOTALLY RELAXED.
If at all in doubt, stay there a few minutes longer and add another dash of lube before you proceed.
Once you’re in, don’t activate the jackhammer.
Your sphincter is suspicious, and at this point you are only allowed inside on a probationary basis.
Let the insertion sit in you for a while and just chill.
Get used to the sensation and allow your butt time to adjust.
It probably won’t feel like it is doing any adjusting — but it is.
Then, start with very slow motions.
Continue with very slow motions for a long time.
If you’ve reached this point — congratulations, you’re having successful anal sex — and your butt will take it from here.
It’ll tell you when it’s ready to go faster.
Enjoy the ride.
The more you practice, the easier it gets & the faster you’ll be able to “advance”.
But do not let yourself (or your partner) get ahead of you — this is simply something that for the vast majority of people take a lot of time and practice.
The more patient you are, the better it gets in the end. So do not rush!
To the point of being relaxed, some other tips:
- A glass or two of wine — don’t get drunk, you’ll want control of your motor skills as well as your senses. Get… fine.
- Foreplay. Arousal will probably help your backdoor adventure a lot. Get as hot and bothered as you can beforehand.
- Add other pleasurable stimulation beforehand and/or during the fact. Some like to orgasm via other means before they start, others like parallel stimulation.
Personally I believe in using other stimulation during — from a psychological perspective, it ought to help teach your body that anal = pleasurable, and that will help your quest in every way.
- Once you’re at the point of working with insertions that are larger than your finger, if you’re having a hard time unlocking your sphincter, try pushing (as if you’re trying to “go”) gently.
Larger things than your finger can exit your butthole, so the body obviously has a way of letting the sphincter loosen up — pushing is a way to help this along.
For beginners, the best way to do this is by having the object completely still and then push back towards it.
If you push from both sides you risk going too far, too fast.
- If you at any point do feel like “oops, I went too far — now it hurts”, do not yank it out of your butt.
Be still for a couple of seconds and let the stinging sensation simmer down, and then sloooowly extract.”
You’ll see often enough that people will tell you that anal isn’t supposed to be painful — but seldom will you get more than “go slower & use more lube”.
Which isn’t bad advice, but I feel like it’s just a little too vague to truly be useful to those who need that advice the most.”
But before you can get anywhere close to anal orgasm, you need to start with anal fingering, which leads us to point:
What Are The Best Anal Fingering Techniques?
Here are the best fingering tips from real people:
“Rub around the hole. Finger in an out slowly. It feels great.
“Please make sure your finger or her hole is wet (spit or juices or lube) before plunging in to avoid discomfort on her part.
Watch her response — if she doesn’t seem to like it, ask her whether to continue.”
“How do you girls like their butthole fingered?”
With your tongue…
Nothings feels like more heavenly with that tongue.”
“Try different things with anal fingering and keep reading her body language.”
- “Is she clenching?
- Stopped moving?
- Whimpering in a non-sexy way?
Ask her if she’s alright, if she’s like to continue or if she’s enjoying it.
But having a survey on how everything feels would ruin the mood for me.
When doing something new with my BF we mostly try to read each other to see what we like, then we ‘debrief’ afterwards to make sure we’re on the same page.”
“I make my wife orgasm so easy with one finger, once inserted I push upwards towards her vagina, and then do a “come hither” motion.
Doing this pushes on her g-spot and makes her cum so easy.”
“I'd insert my middle finger in her anus while having vaginal sex. Doggy style was perfect for this.”
“Basically I’d put it in there and kind of wriggle it around a bit inside.
For her, pushing in and out wasn’t that pleasurable, it was being inside and then stimulating.
Usually around to about the second knuckle.
Note that you’re gonna need some kind of lube, and also you should take it slow at first cause it almost always hurts for new people.
And coupled with normal vaginal sex, she said the pleasure mainly came from feeling completely full up.
She loved the idea of both holes having part of me in them.
I know it seems silly, but try just asking her as well.
See what she says she likes.
She'll be able to tell you more about her likes than any of us.”
“I‘ve been working on getting my woman into anal play lately. “
“She had done anal before with her ex, but didn’t enjoy it because he was so aggressive.
I’ve been easing her into it over the last month.
Starting with butt massaging while having sex, then slightly licking it/rubbing her butthole with a finger when I go down on her.
Never putting a finger in.
Well, last night I focused on her ass, cause it looked too good.
I laid her down on her stomach as soon as we walked up to the bed (kinda pushing her onto the bed) kissed the back of her neck and moved down her back.
I pulled her thong down just under her ass.
She moved her ass towards me and I knew she wanted it.
I grabbed each ass cheek, gave it a kiss and a smack, and started spreading her apart and lightly licking her asshole.
Started soft, and got a little quicker and harder as I went, listening to her moans and adjusting as she reacted.
I rubbed my finger around, waiting for a little sign she wanted it in.
She pushed back on it and I knew she was ready.
Moved it in slow and short, taking my finger out and licking it more.
Eventually I got it all the way in and she LOVED it.
We stopped there, but she’s getting more comfortable.
It takes time.
I love doing it though, and I’m lucky to have a woman that’s open minded.”
“For some women anal sex puts more indirect contact on the G Spot then vaginal sex. “
“But not all women are like that.
If you want to try anal sex:
- First of all use lots of lube! Lube is your friend!
- the first time you try it do it with a sexual partner you have had sex with before and trust. You already know the ebb and flow of things with them and vice versa.
- Go Slow and relax don’t clench or pucker up so to speak.
Anal sex is extremely pleasurable for lots of women and men.
But it has to be down correctly from the start or it will cause a bad experience and reluctance to ever try again.”
“It's best to use a anal toy — in my case butt plug.”
“Once you insert the butt plug, it pretty much chills there.
You can mess with it with your hands or by engaging your butt muscles (like the sphincter, not the glutes), but you’re definitely not gonna fuck yourself with it like you would a dildo.
That’s how I use my butt plug at least.
Check out “rollplay butt plugs”, the have a weighted ball that jiggles inside all over when you walk/move — they are awesome!”
“I use butt plugs with my girlfriend when we’re doing anal play. “
“Sometimes I’ll let it chill and fill her up and sometimes I’ll use my mouth to pull and push the plug in her ass.
I basically put the base in my mouth (a lot easier with silicone and T-shaped base plugs) and use my mouth to thrust the plug in and out of her ass (with some lube) while my hands spread her apart.
I’ll start slow with some rhythm and when she gets more comfortable from the stretching I go faster.
I love this because it’s a very visceral experience…
It’s literally right in front of my eyes.
I also get a lot more control because both my hands are free to spread her ass, rub her thighs and butt.
She gets her ass stretched and played with and she loves the feeling of the plug filling and leaving her empty.
She also loves it because she gets her g-spot stimulated when we use our large glass plug.
It’s the best when you look down and just see a wet, sticky mess coming from her vagina.
They’re also great for secret public pleasure.
When we go out she’ll plug up once in a while.”
“I use a butt plug or my fingers. “
“If I’m using a plug then I’ll insert it laying on my side.
Once it’s in, I lay on my back to stimulate my clit more comfortably.
Then I just reach around with my other hand and kinda push the plug lightly so I feel a thrusting sensation.
If I’m using fingers, I still lay on my back but with more of my arm under my back too.
I don’t have to move my whole arm for stimulation so it works.
I’ve also tried on my side with my top leg spread open.”
“Finally, an opportunity to bestow knowledge I wish I had as a newbie.”
“Be aware that silicone toys will need to be sacrificial lambs to the gods of ass play.
Never go from back to front even after a toy is cleaned, I’d buy a vibrating 100% silicone, soft, dark, coloured butt plug toy designated for your ass.
A good pro life hack is lathering coconut oil on a freshly cleaned silicone ass play toy and letting it sit for 15–20min.
The oil will lift the smell from the silicone and save you from wasting time and money.
Of course you can use an un lubed condom but it’s not 100% either.
I’m assuming you are using silicone because it’s softer for someone just starting to explore Area 51.
Of course stainless steel plugs are 100% way more effective to clean but let’s face it, not nearly as pleasurable as having both vibrating toys with softer material inserted in both disk slots.
NEVER put a small object or any object not designated for anal play in your ass lol.
When the ass lords are pleased you could accidentally pull the toy upward with your ass and that makes for a long awkward shower squat or an ER visit.
If you decide to purchase a plug that is 100% silicone then I would recommend giving that toy airtime and even sunlight when possible.
Try avoiding toys with creases or curves it is a haven for bacteria and an open invite for cross contamination/UTI’s.
Don’t be afraid of an orgasm/intensely good feeling, relax your muscles, breath slow, focus, and ride out the wave to pleasure island.”
Check out this helpful video of a positive anal orgasm experience and how it feels to have one:
What If I Cann't Have Anal Orgasm Just from Anal Stimulation?
Everybody is different.
There are women who squirt from anal stimulation and there are women who have tons of mental and physical blocks who have never squirted at all!
For some anal stimulation is simply a sex enhancer!
For some they will orgasm just from anal stimulation!
Try it for yourself and learn more about your body!
Find what kind of stimulation your body enjoys the most and do that…
You may love rimming and butt plugs, but hate actual anal sex…
The key is to be open-minded and try things at least once and then see what sticks.
“I can’t orgasm from just anal sex either.”
“It doesn’t even feel that great unless I got something going on in either my clit or vagina too.
Party in the front and party in the back lol.
But all at the same time.
And I think that’s probably normal…
I don’t see myself ever enjoying anal only, without clit stimulation or something to go along with it.
I said it the other day that anal is like a sex enhancer.
Still like to do everything else but when you add anal to it it’s so much better!!!
And my orgasms from anal are really strong too.., it’s just not anal alone.”
“I usually do clitoral stimulation as well but it’s like my ass starts coming and tells my clit to catch up or something lol.”
“Also sometimes I dont do any stimulation and just enjoy the anal.”
“I only cum from anal if I’m on top. “
“It must put more pressure on my g spot or something but it’s incredibly.
The first time it happened was so, so unexpected.”
Female Anal Orgasm Success Story
“I (20 year old female) finally did anal last night with my boyfriend…oh molly…anal orgasm felt fucking sensational.”
“For a bit of context:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and counting, he’s everything I’ve ever wished for in a man and someday I’m going to marry him.
We love each other dearly and really have a deep connection with each other on all aspects.
He always takes the time to understand me and know my likes and dislikes, and I with him.
We were each other’s firsts for EVERYTHING except kissing, which was damn awesome because we got to learn things with each other and just keep building on it and improving our techniques to really get each other off in the most pleasing way.
We have always been open to trying new stuff and over the past few months, I’ve gotten even kinkier than I ever thought I’d be…
…and I LOVE it and so does my partner.
I love it when he slaps his cock on my face and throat fucks me till I cry or choke a little on his hard dick.
I love him slapping my ass until there’s a hand print and slapping my cheek and grabbing me by the sides of my mouth and really throwing me around.
I find it so so hot to let him treat me like a whore, it’s SUCH a turn on for me, especially when he ‘fake forces’ stuff in sex and denies stuff to me e.g.
Don’t cum yet, I want you to spit all over my cock, don’t move your hands, don’t touch my dick until I say so etc.
It’s the hottest thing ever to me to be denied ANYTHING during sex because I get all riled up and just want everything at the same time.
Well we’ve been trying to have anal for a while now but I can never relax my muscles enough to just let it happen without having that ‘need-to-poo’ feeling.
All I could ever do was fingers in my butt and only 1 at a time because it got too big for me to handle.
Well last night we both tried molly/MDMA for the first time, we did it together because we both feel that if we were to try anything out of the ordinary, it would be with each other because that’s who we’d be most comfortable with.
We both only took 1/4 of a pill and it did nothing for more than an hour when it was supposed to kick in after around 30–40 minutes.
So we figured nothing would happen and were slightly bummed out for wasting it, so instead we smoked a joint as part of our usual ‘Friday high-day’.
Then the molly kicked in after an hour…..
It could have been intensified because of the weed but who knows.
What I felt after was absolutely AMAZING.
Everything was amazing.
Life was good.
We listened to our favourite music and just relaxed with each other.
I’ve never felt closer to him…we talked and talked for 4 hours but it felt longer.
We talked about so many things and even arguments that we haven’t really solved and we spoke so calmly with understanding for one another and true love and care.
I looked at him and just saw my whole future, right in my arms, the best man I could have EVER imagined…is mine ?
I felt so so damn lucky to have someone who is PERFECT for me and so lucky to have found him at such an early age.
I only want to be with him, I only want to have sex with him and grow old and have kids with HIM.
I got butterflies like I was 16 again.
I was giddy and giggly and high on life.
For a bit of context, I’ve always struggled with body image issues and have anxiety, but yesterday I felt on top of this world and really embraced all my curves and felt so so sexy, my boyfriend held me in the mirror naked and I can’t think of any moment that beat that.
We got so horny and when we touched, everything felt AWESOME.
We kept kissing and feeling deeper and deeper of a connection and I got so riled up that I asked him to take the dirt road…
As I mentioned, I could never fully relax my muscles but I knew I had to if I wanted this to work.
So I laid back and relaxed and we did it in the spooning position.
He stuck it in and I got that need-to-shit feeling and I just firmed it and let it happen so I could feel better later, after the initial couple inches, as he pushed further and deeper into me, it only got better and better.
He pushed his dick all the way to the back and penetrated slowly and gradually got faster.
I never thought I’d stop feeling that initial shit-feeling but I did and it felt like I entered another world of sex.
It was so dirty and wrong and I found it so incredibly hot how fucking good he felt in my ass.
He kept thrusting and pounding and before I knew it, I orgasmed and he came in my ass.
NEVER did I expect I’d ever cum from anal because I didn’t believe there was a G-spot there…but boyyy did I feel it.
Before this we had PIV sex and we both had the most sensational orgasms of our lives.
Even though I never even THOUGHT it could get better but sex with him somehow ALWAYS improves day by day.
The exceptional PIV sex coupled with the fucking awesome anal sex, sent my body in overdrive and I’ve never cum or orgasmed so hard before with both PIV and anal.
He came so hard in me too and I just love him so much.
He came about 4–6 times in total last night and I’m so lucky because he has such a short refractory period and so do I so we can literally keep going until one of us gets sore eventually.
I’ve had a fucking awesome experience and I just wanted to share my thoughts.
I’ve never felt more secure in my relationship and I trust my boyfriend on a whole other level.
I feel so much more secure about our relationship and it feels awesome.”
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Bringing It All Together
As you can see everyone is different — so it's all trial an error for you kheh!
But I'm sure these many experience will help you to achieve your first anal orgasm, heck even anal squirting orgasm faster!
Make sure you get a nice butt plug though!
Soo many people report having success with anal plugs!