Female Domination 101: How To Be Badass Domme In Bed

female preparing for domination in bed

This will be the perfect introduction or inspiration to the BDSM game of female domination.

In this guide I’ve collected lots of real people femdom stories, that will give you tons of ideas and inspiration how to play this kink out together with your man.

Maybe he’s submissive, maybe he’s a switch…

Either way, it’s fun to try it at least once!

You just may get addicted to it…and the Pandora box will open 😉


female dominatrix with a whip
“Dominatrix is a woman who is dominating her partner in day to day life as part of BDSM play.
It could be financial dominatrix or control over partner mentally and physically in a sexual way.
Picture a woman in black leather outfit, with whip in a hand, latex gloves and long stiletto boots.
Dominatrix is usually referred to a female domination professional, but Domme is simply a female dominant in BDSM relationship. “

dominatrix wife and four women prepared for pegging

How To Become A Pro Domme  (Dominatrix)?

Well, there are a ton of BDSM Domination/Submission kinks you can try like:

  • pegging a man with a strap-on
  • prostate milking — make him cum with prostate massager.
  • male chastity — put his cock in cage.
  • orgasm denial — tie him up and tease him with pleasure, but not giving the ultimate satisfaction
  • erotic spanking — nothing works better as a nice whipping punishment.
  • foot slave — get him to massage, lick, kiss your toes and worship you.
  • ..and more

Read on for kinky femdom stories to get a better idea how to dominate your man.

Plus, there will be tons of femdom caption pictures sprinkled throughout for extra… khem… inspiration.

Femdom Story About Man Who Visited Femdom For The First Time

“Basics: I’m an early-30s guy.

From time to time I trawl craigslist looking for sexual encounters. Light ones with guys, anything goes with women.

Recently, I came across an interesting post advertising a clothed female, nude male encounter that had light domination elements.

I don’t really have a clue about dom/sub, but I’m clearly more submissive in bed (I’ve always wanted the woman to tell me what to do, which feels sort of shameful as it seems expected that I’ll control the encounter).

I thought this would be an interesting thing to explore.

I emailed the person and got an email back.

She refused to send pictures, and said she did this out of a reputable business so it was a risk to her and she wouldn’t send identifying info.

She detailed how the session would go, and we talked scheduling. We set up a time (today, which is about a week after we talked).

Today around noon, obeying her instructions, I emailed her and said I was still in.

pro domme taking off her panties

She then sent me the address. I arrived early to do a drive-by.

I drove by a few times; it was a normal sort of business but it looked dark and closed.

Holy shit! All of a sudden I’m nervous.

I’m just going to walk into this place and…what?

Am I going to be arrested?
Is it going to be full of people?
Am I going to embarrass myself?
I parked and frantically emailed her.

She stated that yes, the address was correct, and yes, don’t worry.

She had just ushered out the last “normal” person who was a part of her business for the day, and I could come on in.

So, I did.

I walked in and was greeted by an attractive older (I’d say late 40s) woman.

I’d love to give details about the kind of business I walked into, as it was kind of surreal, but for her protection I’m leaving it out.

Everything that happened afterward was more or less discussed previously, so I knew what was going to happen.

We chatted a bit to orient ourselves and make sure we were both comfortable.

Then, she asked, “would you like to proceed?” I answered, “May I use your restroom?”
I was supposed to add “mistress” to the end of this, but I felt nervous and it sounded dumb so I didn’t.

She pointed me to the restroom.

dominatrix meme

I went into the bathroom and stripped completely nude, putting my clothes into a basket under the sink.

I put my cash into an envelope in the bathroom.

This originally was a bit of a sticking point.

I was looking on CL for mutual free fun, nothing more, no escorts or whatever.

I NEVER pay for play.

However, in her email she said I’d put a “donation” in an envelope and neither of us would speak of it.

I was so goddamn curious and I figured if I showed up and wasn’t comfortable I could leave.

Plus she didn’t set a number, just called it a “donation” and left it at that.

So I put my bills in the envelope.

Then, I walked out of the room.

There was a small cordoned-off area with a futon and a rug.

I sat on the futon on my knees, as instructed by the email.

I spread my knees.

She came around the side and started lightly brushing my body all over, talking about how nice my skin was.

She reached around and started playing lightly with my cock.

She put two gloves on and lubed up, and reached under me, massaging my ass and my hole and grabbing my cock from underneath.

It was goddamn wonderful.

She asked if I’d been penetrated before; I hadn’t.

She lubed me up and slowly put a finger inside my ass with her right hand while she stroked my cock with her left.

This was fun as far as it went, but it was nothing mind-blowing.

Mostly I felt like I was going to shit, but at certain points there was a naughty fun to it that enhanced my hard-on.

female domination with facesitting

After this she took the gloves off and had me stand in front of her, with my hands on my head.

She lubed up her bare hands and began asking me questions about my cock, about my sexual experiences, about how I touched myself.

All while she stroked me, rubbed my balls, etc.

I should mention at this point that she had her clothes on the whole time.

It felt wonderful. There was lots of intense eye contact.

After a bit of this she had be back on the futon so she could spank me.

This also I’d never experienced, and I told her so.

She held my cock in her left hand while she spanked me in various ways and with various implements with her right.

Sometimes hard, sometimes soft, sometimes all over.

She had a little flexible paddle and from behind she spanked my dick with it, lightly.

Holy shit! When she did this I got rock hard.

She was very observant; she knew what worked on me and what didn’t.

She (ungloved this time) stuck her finger in my ass again while jerking me. Then she had me stand up again and put my hands behind my back.

She positioned me direction in front of her.

She sat on the futon as I stood.

She mentioned how hard the cock spanking had made me, and I said it was surprising but I really liked it.

She did it a little bit more in front, then proceeded to vigorously jerk me while we eye-fucked each other.

I told her I was about to come and she stopped. Tease!

Then, she slowly got back into it, lacing her fingers together and jerking me, then simply using both hands like she was gripping a baseball bat to jack me off, until my heartbeat was rising and I was getting redder and it was abundantly clear that I was going to blow.

She responded amply to me, looking longingly into my eyes and breathing heavily as I did the same, and then I came, shooting onto her bare arm, then onto her clothed chest and her pants.

financial dominatrix at table with glasses

We talked a little more and she cleaned me off and sent me into the bathroom.

I came out and we chatted (she still wearing the cum-stained clothes), and I left.

Fucking wow. I did not know stuff like this existed. Just wow.

I felt like I left a therapy + massage session rolled into one.”

Source: BudInPDX

A nice video from a woman explaining what she enjoys about Femdom:

domme dressed in latex

Femdom Stories, Ideas & Suggestions

Now more best tips from pro dommes, female domination experts .

I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 4 years of dominating my BF.

This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone.

Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship.

That doesn’t interest me or my BF.

My BF came to me about 4 1/2 years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him.

It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post.

Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom).

We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. 🙂

That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM.

My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other.

A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine.

Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously.

This is all just in good fun for us.

Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented.

We always have a safe word, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits).

Also, keep safety in mind with any activity.

Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person.

So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it!

I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience.

The categories I use are:

  • Degradation/Humiliation,
  • Pain and Control,
  • Frustration/Teasing,
  • Service.

I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together.

domanitrix in outfit in bed

Dominate Your Man With Degradation & Humiliation

This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things.

Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him.

Femdom Forced feminization

I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions.

This can include lots of different outfits.

Feel free to mix and match to your taste.

Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget.

I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy.

My favorites are:

  • High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match.
  • Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc.
  • Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else.
  • Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you.
  • Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over.
  • French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later.
  • Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit.
  • Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house.
  • Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better.
  • Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure!
  • Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap.
  • Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from!
pro domme pegging and dominating man

Femdom Pegging/dildo play

This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood.

I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis.

It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone.

It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason).

A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it.

Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men.

Some activities involving your strapon or dildo:

Femdom Deepthroat training

Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies!

Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face.

I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity.

Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon.

Put him on his knees and make him get to work.

If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick!

Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle.

Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star!

I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat.

Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough.

Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face.

Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat.

Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic.

He’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep.

He might complain that it doesn’t fit.

Well, its your job to MAKE it fit.

Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth.

That’s OK.

Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints.

Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”)

When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he.

This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch.

When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through.

When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth HARD AND FAST (NSFW).

Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out.

Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even.

Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either.

Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, LOCK YOUR LEGS AROUND HIS HEAD IF NECESSARY (NSFW)while pumping in and out or JUST HOLD HIM THERE (NSFW).

His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit.

Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker.

Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL (NSFW) and he won’t get there without PROPER (NSFW) and intense TRAINING (NSFW).

Don’t worry about any drool and mucus he leaks out onto the floor or bed, as he’ll be the one cleaning it up anyway lol.

findomme torturing a man

Femdom Butt Fucking

Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding.

Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations.

One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he shouldn’t be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you.

Dildo masturbation

Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement.

This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part.

Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass.

This can also be used as a pre-game to pegging.

His ass will need some stretching before you fuck it, so make him do that work himself if you don’t feel like it.

Using other objects to fuck him with

This can be a lot of fun, but be careful.

Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle.

man being dominated by female in latex outfit

Forced Nudity

This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like.

Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed.

If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink.

Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening).

Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging.

I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked.

Its a very humbling experience for him.

I also frequently have him sleep naked.

Forced Performances

This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation.

Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me.

I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me.

I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording).


We’re getting a little more extreme here.

Don’t be afraid to spit on your male.

This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training.

While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face.

He’ll love you for it!

It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face

Golden showers

We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to.

Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss.

woman teaching how to be dominatrix

Verbal humiliation

(Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.)

I really like this, and to me, there are two components.

  1. You degrading him with words.
  2. Making him degrade himself with words.

Here are some ideas for verbal domination:

  • Name calling.
    Call him degrading names.
    This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless.
  • Penis humiliation/emasculation.
    This is common on femdom porn sites.
    Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc.
    Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc.
  • Combine insults.
    Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.”
    “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?”
  • Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.”
    Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick!
    Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.”
    Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”.
  • Tell him what you’re going to do to him later.
    Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated.
  • Order him to do things for you.
    *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell.
    Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice.
    Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly.
    Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.
femdom bdsm scene

Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.

  • Make him beg.
    Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc.
    It doesn’t even have to be something he wants.
    The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards.
    If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him.
  • Make him apologize.
    Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre.
    Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm.
    Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted.
    He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.)
    Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings.
    Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t).
  • Make him thank you.
    Did you let him have an orgasm?
    Did you fuck his little butthole really well?
    Did you let him lick your asshole?
    He needs to thank you for the privlege.
  • Make him confess.
    Make him tell you his fantasies.
    This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm.
    Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that)

Female Domination as Part of Public Play

There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries.

  • Clothes shopping.
    I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear.
    If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room.
  • Wearing plugs or other toys in public.

And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do…

man with his penis locked by domme

Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial

He fucking hates this, which is why I love it.

Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face.

I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to.

That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat.

There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it.

Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it.

Some of my favorite ways to do this are:

  • Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth.
  • Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor.
    Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it.
    If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem.
    Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone.
  • If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you.
  • While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face.
  • Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face.
    This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head.
    I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day.
  • Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair.
  • However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it.
    Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star.

Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one.

I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here.

sexy woman dominating man

When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff.

He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist.

But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm.

The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates.

So I like to have fun with this.

With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think he’s right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch.

I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again.

If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10–15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it.

He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it!

He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way.

I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too.

I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in.

Its wonderful!

half naked dominatrix on stairs

How To Humiliate And Dominate Man Even Further

For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions.

I keep these and then use them later for additional humiliation.

Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strap-on well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….

…well that’s just good entertainment.

Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him.

It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha.

How To Play With Pain & Control As Domme

DISCLAIMER: People are nervous about this category, and with good reason.

Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves.

So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you.

That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here.

This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real.

There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites.

Face slapping As Part Of Domination

I really enjoy this.

Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek.

Several (5–6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love.

He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears.

This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass.

Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun.

dominatrix meme with half naked woman

Pulling Your Mans Hair

Grab his hair and yank his head around.

Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc.


The most common.

I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane.

Cock and Ball Torture

Another common theme on femdom websites.

Here’s a list of techniques I use:

  • Squeezing/Pinching.
    Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick.
  • Slapping. Simple.
    To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap.
  • Punching.
    Same as above but creates a lot more pain. 🙂
  • Kicking.
    Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you.
    Take this one more slowly haha.
domme teasing man

Nipple Play

Most people know about this already.

Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here.

He can take more than you think.

Chemical Play

Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again.

This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently.

Here’s a list of things we’ve tried:

  • Ice cubes.
    Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. 
    This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. 
    I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol.
  • Ben-gay/Icy Hot. 
    Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. 
    This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. 
    My pet feels very intense pain for about 10–20 minutes. 
    It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation.
  • Tabasco/hot sauce.
    Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. 
    Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. 
    I reserve this for serious punishment. 
    I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. 
    Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night.
dominatrix preparing to peg a man

Eletricity Female Torture Play

You need to be even more careful here.

My only experience is a dog shock collar.

I attach the collar around his penis and testicles.

It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks.

We’ve gotten up to level 6.

He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him.

You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals.

If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum.

If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head.

We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are.

Your man’s experience may vary.

This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him.

If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment.

How to Use Bondage and Restraints

I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations.

I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things.

I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet).

female dominating man with bondage

How To Control Your Man Like A Pro Domme

A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told.

This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play.

For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm.

But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it.

So I use pain to get him to do it.

One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs.

After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice.

Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength.

Eventually he’ll do it.

This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer.

He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor.

Another example is dildo play.

If i instruct him to deep-throat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do.

If he doesn’t, I inflict pain.

For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat.

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If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means.

I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance.

I increase the pain until he obeys.

Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to achieve.

I also use pain as punishment for failure.

If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time.

This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy.

When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all.

If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it.

NOTE: Don’t hesitate to punish him simply for his attitude.

He needs to be completely respectful, and obedient as he suffers your abuse.

If you don’t like the look he gives you, slap it off of his face.

If he starts complaining about something, do it more and make it worse.

Oh, you don’t want to eat my pussy just because I’m sitting on the toilet, too bad.

He’s licking it it anyway, and now he’s getting his face flushed in the toilet afterwards.

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This is really quite simple.

When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to.

I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this.

There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now.

There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us.

He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions.

He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorised orgasm or ejaculation.

Chastity Femdom Play

This is a must for us.

While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart.

I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”.

This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key.

Basically “The Vice” is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. (Read more about best cock cage here).

It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price.

I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure.

The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick.

I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval.

The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me.

I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks.

He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already.

There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online.

Some fun chastity games we play:

  • Try to cum.
    I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). 
    Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. 
    I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. 
    Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. 
    He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity)
  • Coin flip. 
    If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device.
    Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. 
    Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. 
    Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. 
    Better luck next time honey.
  • Roll of the dice. 
    If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. 
    If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. 
    This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. 
    He was really on edge lol.

Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well.

Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off.

For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off?

If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time.

I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control.

femdom teasing man

One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms.

If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms.

He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage.

Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do.

Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device.

He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed.

The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO.

Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining.

Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm.

He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to.

So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately.

We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day.

If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me.

This is great for extracting promises from him.

But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately.

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Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up.

Do not feel bad about this.

In fact, relish your power here.

I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.”

While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone.

Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order.

If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device.

The power is intoxicating.

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Teasing The Man As Part Of Domination

Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not.

But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe).

I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down.

Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop.

This is delightfully frustrating for him.

Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him.

One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied.

Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind.

Ruined Orgasm — Femdom Orgasm Denial.

By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing.

Its really an art form.

The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation.

If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure.

This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself.

I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable.

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Sexual Service

This encompasses everything.

If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it.

If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get.

If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that.

If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get.

Nothing is off limits to me sexually.

I speak, he obeys.

That’s just how it goes.

I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there.

The point is, I get what I want.

Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can.

(Then sometimes make fun of him for it.)

Femdom Facesitting

I love sitting on his face.

Its a great experience to cum all over his face.

Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator.

I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it.

Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience.

Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc.

In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this.

We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this.

He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair.

This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck?

He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort.

The goal of sexual service is two-fold.

One, for you to get all the pleasure you want.

Two, for him to feel completely objectified.

When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished.

But this isn’t limited to sexual service only.

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How To Put All The Female Domination Tips together?

Now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together.

Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense.

Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already.

For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in.

I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage.

I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait.

He waited there for 20 minutes.

I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before.

It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass.

I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures.

I was already wearing the strap-on. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in various positions and then I told him it was time to get busy.

I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work.

I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him.

I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more.

I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl.

It was really funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming.

Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face.

I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”.

He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder.

He quickly scurried off to the master bath.

About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strap-on and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well.

When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless.

So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed.

As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm.

He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie)

There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together.

For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick.

Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence.

You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video.

The possibilities are endless!

Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me.

What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too.”

Source: dominantGF

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Bringing It All Together

Well, that’s it folks (ehm..femdoms)

Hope you have plenty of ideas what to try now and go as vanilla or as BDSM kinky as you want!

Just remember it’s all for fun and clear communication beforehand will be invaluable! 🍷

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